he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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