Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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