Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
