I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
