Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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