She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
