I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
