Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
