its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
