thus making me awesome and them whores
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
