I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
