I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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