i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just tell him i said nine months
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
