real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize