She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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