I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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