he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
