it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize