Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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