Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
