You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Are we still banned from the library?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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