in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
