1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
