i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
