i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
