Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
