She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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