Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
