There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
