PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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