Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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