Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
