oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
