Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
