i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
