He kissed a someone with a penis
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
