So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
