He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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