North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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