I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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