Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
