When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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