i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
