why didn't you poke me back
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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