Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
