If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
