smell my finger.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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