using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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