well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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