I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
