Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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