I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
