A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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