I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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