i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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