Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i came on her dog
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
