So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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