Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
