it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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