the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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