wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
