You smell like a Billy Joel song
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
