I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
